You know you're in trouble when...
(1) You wake up face down on the pavement.
(2) Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache.
(3) You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes
out of the city.
(4) Your twin sister forgot your birthday.
(5) You wake up and discover your waterbed broke and then
remember that you don't have a waterbed.
(6) Your doctor tells you you're allergic to chocolate.